This is me on a typical night when I'm not working. Just replace that bottle of soda with a beer (OR water!) and replace that magazine with a novel like The Hunger Games or anything by Laurie Halse Anderson (or my laptop, I mean, who am I kidding, I'm a little addicted to facebook). Also, replace that fancy, cute nightgown with some plaid PJ pants and a boy's XL tagless undershirt like this (seriously, if you are a girl my size, they are SO comfy and SO much cheaper than adult undershirts, lol). Lastly, replace the blonde, I may have a thing for blondes but I personally am not blonde and most likely don't look that cute chillin' on the couch.Anyway, so, why am I becoming more restless as a homebody? Because, I no longer have someone to be a homebody with.
My recent desire to sort out what I want in life actually started with the ending of a 2 year and 9 month relationship... It's hard when you begin to question whether you are pursuing something for yourself or for someone else. I recognize that my life isn't all about me; however, I'm the type of person who easily compromises and makes their life all about others. Neither are good, in my opinion.
Please don't get me wrong, it was a relatively good relationship. I still love her (just in a different way now,) and we're trying to remain friends. She was my best friend after all... That is what really sucks, when you lose your girlfriend and best friend at the same time. Here is one of the ways that I went wrong with this relationship, among other things, I forgot about my friends. My older sister is saying, "I told you so" somewhere right now...
We all get into the stage in a relationship, especially when it is new, where it is all about us! You know that stage, where everyone just wants to gag with the sight of the 2 of you together?
Even after this stage in our relationship passed, I allowed myself to become more distant with my friends and really only spent time with my girlfriend. I had a lot of fun and will always cherish those memories, but, I left myself vulnerable to getting lost in the relationship. I had no 3rd party witnesses to what was going on. My friends and family had to rely on simply what I was telling them was going on, and the ones who did kind of see that I was starting to lose some of myself or that we weren't as compatible as I thought we were, they weren't close enough to me personally to feel comfortable telling me that and I don't blame them. May I clarify that I do have friends, but, I don't have a best friend anymore. Any takers? haha. There is life outside my apartment, and I need to get off my ass and stop worrying! So, what am I doing? I'm trying to reconnect with people who have been there for me and making myself get out there more. It's what Social Psychologists call the "mere exposure effect". Basically, we like who we see often, because they are familiar to us- doesn't sound very charming does it? It's like the chicken or the egg question- do you see them often because you like them or do you like them because you see them often? So, once I leave the dating realm and do try and settle into a new relationship, I shall not allow myself to forget about my friends. Social Psychological studies have shown that your close friends and family are actually better at predicting whether your relationship will last than the actual people in the relationship... imagine that. So, needless to say, it is wise to have your close friends and family involved in your romantic relationships.
Oh, this picture doesn't fit the context? Who cares, it's Olivia Wilde! (it's homebody-ish...)
Seriously though, I took the pieces of the puzzle that was my life and took them apart- I literally did this when I took apart the puzzle of a picture of my girlfriend and I that I had made from personalizationmall.com. It was a romantic idea, (she loved it!) right up until I had to take it apart... You see, my life has become a brand new puzzle and I need to figure out what pieces go together to comprise me. I have a degree, I'm no longer settled into a relationship, I'm trying to build new, strong friendships, and my career and academic future is still a bit of a mystery.
So, this is me
And I know I'm not the only one out there!Tweet
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