Have you guys ever tried google chrome? If not, you should. This is my absolute favorite browser of all- even more so than FireFox. Yes, I said it. One of the features that it has is when you open a new tab it lists the web sites that you visit the most and the ones that you recently closed. It took a while for my most visited sites to be what I expected them to be, but once they were, this feature became very convenient. Sites like gmail, Hotmail, facebook, weather.com (yes, when you have a job that requires you to work outside, this site is important) were all there. Then, one day, a new site was listed as my “most visited”, and when I saw it there I really wasn’t sure how I felt about it… OkCupid.com.
Yup. A dating site I had been apparently frequenting more than I realized was staring at me in the face. This is when I started to ask myself, "what are you doing?"
Am I ready for a new relationship? Probably not. Yet, I do feel like I'm ready to date.
Hey, she filed for divorce from her husband... a girl can hope...
*sigh* "Just who can solve its mystery"... Anyway, my advocacy for dating websites goes back and forth. Two of my family members met and married their significant others online. The girl I met and dated for 3 years I met on craigslist.org. Yup... You read that right. I know! What was I thinking?! She could have been a psycho killer! She could have been a man!
But, you know what? She wasn't (obviously), and I'm fine (to a certain extent). We were aware of the risks and we took the proper precautions in regards to meeting for the first time and what not. Now, this does NOT mean that I recommend using craigslist to meet your match making needs. I found the diamond in the rough sort of speak when I stumbled upon her.
Not to sound pathetic,
But, I have to say, in comparison to match.com, plentyoffish.com, and okcupid.com, OkCupid.com is the best. Not only is it free, but, it is rather user friendly. How do I know this? Well... after my break-up, I went through this phase of extreme loneliness and didn't know where to meet anyone new to even think about dating. We live in the age of instant gratification, it's both a gift and a curse.
I've learned a lot about myself since my break-up and the 2 dating endeavors I have embarked upon since. I'm still learning now. This may sound odd, but, I'm trying to work on being more selfish... I've become more guarded. I've told the hopeless romantic in me to "shove it" and I feel like my heart looks like this
Why am I talking about this when the premise of this blog is figuring yourself out after getting your BA? Because, whether I like it or not, one of my top desires is close companionship, closer than family and friends... I know I should just focus on figuring out my career and educational path, but, I found myself frequenting OkCupid.com more than researching different grad schools. Perhaps it was just part of the process of mending my heart?
I'm almost 24 years old, and I feel like a teenager again in some ways in regards to dating. I haven't even really dated much and I unfortunately have horrible gaydar
I know what you're thinking, "Hello! You live in Southern California! Go out to a lesbian bar!" For one, I reside in the Orange County bubble... I realize that West Hollywood is just a hop, skip, and a jump away, but, the girls I've met at bars aren't really MY type of girls... Meeting someone at a bookstore, on the other hand... maybe I can find a lesbian bookstore...
Needless to say, I've disabled my OkCupid account... not deleted... disabled. Using that website was both inflating and deflating to my self-esteem to the point of exhaustion. Then, once I saw the site appear on my "most visited" list, it made me wonder how good visiting that site so often was really doing me. The hopeless romantic that is still barely breathing inside me can't let go of the thought that there is some fate in this world... And, for now, I don't think I'm going to find my "fated girl" on the internet. I definitely feel like I shouldn't be avidly searching for her. Maybe there isn't a fate? Maybe there is more than one girl who would make me truly happy? Maybe there is more than one girl who I could spend the rest of my life with and create a joyful, good life together?
Whatever the answer is, I'm not going to desperately search for it. It may be a little lonely, but, I have my friends and family and a life that I'm still molding into my own. And with that, I'm
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